Skip to main content

21


Jakob wasn’t there. He never was. He was the classic example of the absent father. He could nevertheless not be accused of not being present. His gaze could penetrate the thickest walls. Somehow, he just knew. This made people shy away from him. Noone likes to be subjected to such piercing blue eyes. Slightly blank, like water blurred the edges of those irises, just added to the discomfort you would unfailingly experience. In the gaze was a good measure of judgement. Not so much with words, what can they convey anyway? So he trudged on, unperturbed by the commotion in his wake. He had had to develop a rather thick skin over the years. Most things seemed to bounce off him, and you could be excused for thinking that nothing got to him. This was not true. A lot of things got to him.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Rotate ruminations

Mean looks mean. Curiosity can be hemmed in, but not drowned. To accomodate it is necessary to allow a free rein, within the boundaries of the concept. This is modern, useful approach. This is pragma, when results and not appearances matter. You can forget the guilt trip, it does not compute in this environment. Just look out for the green, ever moody, likely to shift on a whim.  You got to work with me baby. Don’t make the mistake of thinking.  This is more about feeling. A touchy subject I know. And Aldred…no let’s not go there. I must obey the rules. I will obey the rules. The rules are mine. I rule. Think for yourself. Feelings are overrated. This feed is monitored. 

1

It pisses me off. You know what I mean? The constant to-and-fro. The mimicking. The mediocrity. The shallow sages. Here they were, perfectly happy to waste it all. And you. What did YOU do about it? Me, I need to get it out. Me, I need to absorb it all. Please, don't keep me waiting. Let me know how you are dealing with it. You know the drill. Let it rip.

Is sharing caring?

  Looking out the window. It looks gray. After a lot of hours, the family comes home, one by one. As they left, I lay in bed. When they get home, I'm in bed. They look a little longingly at my pillows, warm quilts, piles of magazines and books. Maybe they're thinking they'd like to swap with me. I'd love to switch. Updating my status on FB, getting some comments pretty quickly. People who feel sorry, and who tell of their own accident stories. I've been through that before. When an acquaintance, friend or relative dies, I often hear my friends talk about their own experiences of death. I used to get a little confused by that. I wondered why it felt so important to compare accidents. Or even compete a little in them. Now, with window views of slowly approaching days, I'm struck by another thought. Maybe it's their way of understanding and dealing with difficult things. To relate it to themselves, and their own lives. Perhaps, therefore, sometimes it is easier