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19


Please, he said.
don’t kill me like this.
Take me to 13.
I dont care about protocol, and if after 13 i am to go, i will not lift a finger. Forget about the flowers. Just go to 13.
slowly the sun moved that day. How is it that time can stretch so? what is the mechanism by which this is ticking?
Slowly, some would say lazily. Like the odd drops falling over Budapest that time, so long ago. hitting the large umbrellas with resounding plops. All was possible then. Only the word was missing. The word was not yet even formulated.

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18

He ascended the stairs to reach fresh air. Fresh air and a new start. Crispy croissants and cafe con leche in a new setting. He could make a go of this. It didn’t matter the earlier times. He had free will, and wanted to execute it. He knew all about luck, and paid no heed to coincidence. He wouldn’t be bullied. But in himself he had to admit it wasn’t going well. He was honest enough to face up to the facts, at least in front of the mirror. It was something about luggage, no matter how he hated excuses. There are excuses that cover the real reasons, and there are excuses that are so well crafted that they fool the messenger. But in his heart of hearts he knew there were excuses that were actually true. He just didn’t really accept them. He had this childish notion since childhood, that his approach to dealing with things like this could affect their final outcome. And so he stubbornly resisted. No matter the weight of evidence tipping the scale against him. Becaus...
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12

They defy assessment, if you let them, she said. I had no choice. That is totally wild, Ifigenia. I think you are brave, clear as the liquid of truth. But it is night. Shall we? Come look, and then say. I just happened to pass by. You know how it is. The will to impose. Crumbs of crackers collecting in your shirt. Bells ringing. The Dome echo. A giant music box. Calling in mist. Calling in cold. Calling. Life on the rails. Ears throbbing. From tiredness. From too many politely empty observations. From too much waiting.
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