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25

There is power in repetition, he said he said. We must not strive for the narrow path, we must be the path. The voice sounded bleary and tired. Like he had not slept for a hundred days, just looking at the archi-cola landscape, laden with fresh things. I have since then stopped listening, as it will drive me insane. The things he says...like the one about the onrushing star cluster HVGC-1 was simply too preposterous. Back in those days i was still wet behind my ears. We used to jokingly refer to those parts as the uncharted wetlands. I could have gone further, i know. But somehow this spot talked to me. Something inside my core being clicked with these rocks, those shadows, the smell of coke. I have not yet regretted my impromptu decision to usher Glenn and Ava away, and strike for gold here. My gold is no fools' gold, though my scars are many and fierce-looking. At closer inspection, you will see me for what i am. The imposter. I can live with that.

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18

He ascended the stairs to reach fresh air. Fresh air and a new start. Crispy croissants and cafe con leche in a new setting. He could make a go of this. It didn’t matter the earlier times. He had free will, and wanted to execute it. He knew all about luck, and paid no heed to coincidence. He wouldn’t be bullied. But in himself he had to admit it wasn’t going well. He was honest enough to face up to the facts, at least in front of the mirror. It was something about luggage, no matter how he hated excuses. There are excuses that cover the real reasons, and there are excuses that are so well crafted that they fool the messenger. But in his heart of hearts he knew there were excuses that were actually true. He just didn’t really accept them. He had this childish notion since childhood, that his approach to dealing with things like this could affect their final outcome. And so he stubbornly resisted. No matter the weight of evidence tipping the scale against him. Becaus...
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24

So you see it will have to be like this now. Living is a dance, where your moves decide your future position. But this is not to be confused with the misconceived conception that order rules. We create this sensation to keep panic at bay. We will do many things to avoid looking this in the eyes. We might not like what we will find. As usual the path of least resistance beams ahead, inviting as the quick fix we long for. There are times when the dancing commands our full attention. These are times of relaxation, as they block out the sun. The sun is a disk of unfathomable energy piercing most defenses. We will yield in its presence, and that is in order. Fortunately for us we are seldom called upon to commit ourselves to this degree. This is what the story of Abraham is all about. And this is something we have known, but either forgotten or denied. For we will take another step forward. The movement creates its own moment. And in the end we will die, obviously. This might not b...
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