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So you see it will have to be like this now. Living is a dance, where your moves decide your future position. But this is not to be confused with the misconceived conception that order rules. We create this sensation to keep panic at bay. We will do many things to avoid looking this in the eyes. We might not like what we will find. As usual the path of least resistance beams ahead, inviting as the quick fix we long for. There are times when the dancing commands our full attention. These are times of relaxation, as they block out the sun. The sun is a disk of unfathomable energy piercing most defenses. We will yield in its presence, and that is in order. Fortunately for us we are seldom called upon to commit ourselves to this degree. This is what the story of Abraham is all about. And this is something we have known, but either forgotten or denied. For we will take another step forward. The movement creates its own moment. And in the end we will die, obviously. This might not be the marker we have set it out to be. I am increasingly vague about that. It seems new things are emerging now. And they may be decoys or grains of truth. So, there is chaos, and the absolutes are not playing ball. Tough luck, deal with it. This might not change all that much, come to think of it. IT settles certain long running disputes, but simultaneously leaves the door open to new avenues needy of further investigation. This polly jean is humming into my ear, and I see wisdom there. Because I am human I will connect the dots. And where are none I will weave them. I think that is a strategy for survival. Like sharks we need to keep moving. Movement is pleasure, and it is also easy. But what when I get tired, and want to run no more? Is that to equal with death? I think not, that is a simplification. And while basically simple to the level of bonehead we are there because of the very complex. There seem to be little or no paradox in this, shed your conceptions of dualism, open your eyes. 

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It was a year of ripe fruits. With it followed all the usual complaints. Too much work. Too heavy. We will never get it in on time. But of course we did. We always did. The complaints were a river we needed to cross. And cross it we did. With the fruits came a new sensation. We accumulated. First it was small things. a smile here. A new tire there. It was all I could do not to choke. Yes, the days were long, the work heavy. But heavy in an acceptable way, if you know what i mean. Heavy like the body responded, felt used, useful and needed.  At the time my days felt fulfilling. Of course the smiles didn’t hurt either. It was a welcome relief after a rough patch. No, I rather not go into that right now.